A Fine Balance.

Last Monday, after Thanksgiving dinner and 90210 (the orignal!) viewings with friends, I had a great idea for a blog entry. Something to do with thanks and being thankful, but in my slightly drunken state, I decided not to start writing said blog and instead decided to go to sleep. When I awoke the next morning, I had completely forgotten my thesis! Isn’t that always the way? Alas! Another day, another blog entry.
I am very lucky. I have great friends, family – a great life, but it’s a life in progress. That is, I’m working towards where I want to be and who I want to be. I’ve written about the process of filmmaking before; the things that inspire your work, how you become inspired and that’s reflecting my daily life right now. You see, the thing is, is that I’m bored. I need a project or projects to get me going. Right now, it’s all work, work to pay those bills, pay off those debts, work to find the other work. It’s all resumes and job-hunting. I’m not begrudging the work. I’m a firm believer that it takes effort to find what you want and what makes you happy. Things don’t just arrive nicely packaged on a silver platter, as much as we all wish they did sometimes. No, what I am begrudging is the lack of balance in my life. When I look to the future, I can see it there, in the distance, glittering oh-so-brightly. There I am, completely run-down with production work, and loving every minute of it. But there’s also light and laughter. Friends and creativity, fine wine and art. There is a balance. So how to bring that image of the future into the present? I seem to be run-down with that semi-large (and very pesky) debt that I’ve been carrying around for a few years. I keep saying I’ll do things, buy things and really be able to live when I pay it off, but doesn’t a person have to live right now too? Don’t I have the right to buy a painting easel or a better camera if that makes me happy right now? (Please note: if you are a financial advisor and don’t agree with the above statement, please stop reading my blog. Thanks!) Hell – don’t I have the right to buy a pair of really pretty shoes if they make me ridiculously happy? It’s about give and take at this point in my life. Being sensible, but not forsaking who I am to be sensible.

A friend of mine once said to be that life is too short not to drink fine wine. I replied that I didn’t have enough money to drink fine wine, but I think what he really meant was that life is too short not to have a fabulous time. So in the meantime, I will keep applying to production companies, keep sending out that message to the universe and awaiting a reply and until that happens, I will be out and about, with my new camera, wearing my new shoes, wine glass in hand, finding a balance.